If you’ve ever moved before, you know that packing things can be a pain. You have to carefully wrap items that you cherish greatly, and leave behind items that aren’t serving you or your space anymore. However, the one thing that you can’t leave behind is yourself. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.
You’re thinking, “No duh, Harris. Of course you take yourself with you. What’s the point?” The point is that you — YES YOU — probably have many deep, unresolved issues simmering in your soul. Are you carrying around any negative emotional vibrations? If so, THAT’S your problem. 🫵
No matter where you go, you can’t run away from that internal problem. So, let’s solve it before you carry that problem with you to the grave. 💀🪦
My Problem 🙋♀️
Feeling like a disappointment has been an issue I’ve dealt with my entire life. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t good enough and that I wasn’t lovable or acceptable the way I was. The problem grew into a monster of self-judgment and people pleasing as I got older. In order to feel worthy, I did what was asked of me. When my actions were questioned, I went into: DEFENSE MODE. 😡 HULK MODE. 🦖 SULK MODE. 😭 PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MODE. 🤦♀️ Basically, all the modes that make me a not-so-likable person.
I noticed I would get triggered easily when someone would hold me accountable (or ask me a question about an action I took or am planning to take).
My 🧠 when this happens:
“AAHHHH — I’M UNDER ATTACK!!!!! Prepare for defense!”
My ❤️ when this happens:
“I’m sorry — I feel like I’m not meeting your expectations. That hurts me, because it makes me feel unworthy. When I feel hurt, I want to put up walls around my heart to protect myself.”
These emotional and physical reactions all come from deep-rooted childhood experiences. While my feelings are valid, the automatic behaviors I’ve established in response are not. So how do we fix this?
Fixing our Problems
Find the “why” and reframe the story 🖼️
When you feel yourself getting upset or thrown off kilter, explore the why behind that. What's the first memory you have of feeling that way? What happened? Is it possible to reframe that situation from a different point of view that you haven't previously considered? Address your beliefs on the situation and ask yourself if those beliefs are serving you.
Practice responding differently in the future 💪
Once you determine the why and reframe the story, you can practice changing your behavior with repetition. Think of it like a muscle — you can’t change your physique in one day, but you can change it with the compound effect of daily work.
If you continue to hold beliefs that don't serve you and choose not to respond differently, those negative manifestations will continue to come up in your life to test you. I’m a firm believer in the universe will test you in your negative manifestations and conspire in your favor for positive manifestations.
So, what’s your problem? Do you have any negative beliefs about yourself or your life that are no longer serving you? 🦔🌈
Resources:
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman: https://a.co/d/ejEDxE2
Build a Wealthy Spirit Podcast with Sammie & Michelle:
5. What's Your Problem? 🚨